Monday, December 10, 2012

Flight 591

I question my physiological stability often. Wondering How. Truly trying to swallow what this love has done to the person I once was, for the good and bad. Who is this person whose core refuses to give up, passion relentless, accepting only my reality? A missing and longing that occurs in naive, where even after time has passed us I still embark on experiences, on moments where I turn to the left with a smile to speak as if you would be there, trying to share with the presence of you which is merely inside of me. Living in the past memories of prosperity. Fighting back familiar emotions as I fasten myself in my seat. 
28 F. I'm thanking God for this window seat as I can not predict my behavior, behavior that while altered over the weeks all have a common denominator of unfamiliar. Where are the answers? Are they in the cloud wrappings of silk made by my Lord just yet to be seen? The engine pulsates preparing to take all of me over this relentless inquiry. I Can't help but seek the greater lesson. Is is strength? Is it patience? A word I realize I may not understand, a word that has been absent in my consciousness until this.Why was I allowed the have a love so immense?

Wondering HowPhilosophizing how maybe in my mind I created a strength for it that it had yet to mature to. Too confident in the will against adversity, confident in words of investment, confident in a foundation that was yet to be finished. A foundation the passion of my core will always want to build regardless of space, time, or moments pass. Regardless of the love yet returned.We are glazing to a cruise height, putting the frustration beneath me. Wanting a smile that's not hiding hurt, eyes that seek knowledge showing no fear. Stability I am assured. A landing as graceful as the touch of my fathers hand.
Wondering How, I have strayed so far from him yet I question why some things soil beneath my fingers. Why these impulses cause tragedies and in some of my words linger venom. Of course HE is the answer. Lifting off, let me soar over a river of his gracious waters; sobering my mind, healing my heart. Prevent me from chilling to ice. Let the consciousness of these efforts be unyielding and the blessing of these lessons comprehended. Landing on the start of a positive trail, blazing for progress being slow to speak, fueled by the tenacious want to fulfill my greater purpose; the champion I was born to be. Within him is everything I need. 
I still can't help but look out this petite window hoping to find the answers for my hearts wants. Seems like they hear not my minds plea. Fighting tears of hopeless, this love halting the oxygen to my brain. So quick, like the depletion of oxygen in my lunge's every time our eyes meet.
He spoke. Sometimes the answer to my question is, to stop asking questions.